Near corner

It is normal to feel depressed some of the time when dealing with cancer. It is bad stuff. Only someone in total denial or a crazy person who is out of touch with reality doesn’t have some depressed feelings. Normal people occasionally feel like they are losing heart, getting burned out, just too tired to even think, too exhausted to even try, and too discouraged to even consider the possibilities of what I am saying. That is the time to tell your doctor.

Pretending the wolf isn't stalking you does not mean it won't eat you. It only justifies not looking over your shoulder or carrying a gun. How smart is that? But that is exactly what some people do when they deny their prognosis or pretend it applies to someone else – not them. You have got to face the wolf, not run away from it. Predators love to chase prey that runs away.

 That serpent is both clever and sinister. Its first tactic is to get you to believe there is nothing to be afraid of (denial). Then it adds false bravado. "I'm smart and the doctors are smart. I'm strong and determined and courageous: with sheer willpower I'm going to beat this thing." Denial and bravado are just cover-ups for panic and retreat, glaring signs that the big fear has already got you.

Rachel told me how pondering the unfairness of it all and all the dreams she had to abandon made her furious and that her anger got her nowhere. Expressing her feelings helped, but the more she did that the more exhausted and defeated she became. It was only when she let it all go that she could get the dragon off her back. Not until she accepted that fact that she would never know why could she move on with life,: make new dreams and regain the energy and composure she needed to take full treatment.

IT IS THE DRAGON’S MIGHT WEAPON

IDENTIFY YOUR ADVERSARIES AND TAKE THEM OUT                  

More important than speed in decision making is identifying and focusing on the critical pieces of information and your specific goals. Only after distinguishing between what is possible, what is probable and what is hoped for should you then decide on a course of action. You don’t ever need to let go of what is hoped for, but you must not let it blind you. Again, walk through your decisions with both shoes on.

 When it seems that cancer is taking everything from you, you still have choices to make: critical decisions that will ultimately determine the length and quality of your life.  You better make them well. You will need to make them again and again every time there is a change in disease behavior or treatment. Therefore, it is essential to understand the decision-making process.

Cancer rarely takes a life suddenly, so most everyone will get a homestretch but few recognize when they are on it. No one looks forward to it, but if run well, it can be an extraordinary time that no one would want to miss. You can get up from the table after the main course, but why skip dessert if you don’t have to. 

  In 2009, my son Trevor and I were working in a destitute refugee squatter’s village in Zambia near the border to the embattled Congo. Our goal was to figure out how to improve the health education of children in a mission school in hopes of both affecting their generation, but also of creating an inroad through the kids’ literacy to their illiterate parents. We had a chance to talk with a pastor and a healthcare worker about the response of these people to the threat of death often from AIDS, TB or malaria.