BV4: HOPE FUELS VICTORY

Here are two ideas for generating Hope. Try them because there is nothing worse than being Hopeless.

1)  TAKE CONTROL of your circumstances.Take your eyes off of what you cannot control and focus on what you can. Sure you must fight the disease but if you give it all your attention it will control you - and your life. It will win, you will loose!

With your cancer be attentive. Be involved. Do your research. Ask good questions. But then trust the doc to treat you and get on with the rest of you life. Your life is precious and is all yours. If you are not intentional about living it, the dragon of fear will do it for you. In various disguises it will sidetrack you thoughts and make your life his.

It is a matter of FOCUS. Grab the steering wheel and start driving your life where you want it to go. Think about the most important things in your life that you can control.  And don't just say "staying alive". Yes, you have a role to play in managing your disease and so do your docs. It's their job to get it under control so you can have a life. So let them do it and you focus on the important things in your life. Things like raising kids,  nurturing and celebrating some relationship(s) and healing others, pursuing some skill or developing another, going on a spiritual journey,  travel somewhere, doing some thing.

Figure those goals out, prioritize them and focus on them. That is the key: focus on them - not on the disease. Get cancer off center stage. Every minute you surrender to thinking about all the fearful  "what ifs" the dragon whispers to you is another minute of life lost. Go after what matters most. Fill your mind with them by both planning and engaging. It is usually about people.They are so much of your life and they are what can make your life truly happy - remember the research.

Many victories can be yours. Not letting the disease control your thoughts is a huge one. Nurturing relationships you already have and building new ones is another. Reminisce old memories and make new ones. Revel in nostalgia. Brain science shows it improves both brain function and attitude.

Maybe you are on your last lap in life, your bell lap; at least it often feels that way. Passing batons of wisdom to family and friends can be another victory, healing or renewing relationships long neglected can be another, traveling to new places or visiting old ones are all others. And on and on.These are all possible and possibilities provide purpose, purpose creates meaning and meaning generates hope. It is hope that can power you through treatment while just incidentally making life worth living.

2)  Some of my patients set out on a spiritual journey to discover God's promises and start building their life upon them. Since His promises are unbreakable their Hope becomes unshakable. Wow . I saw such hope and wondered where does a faith like that come from? And how does it hold up when the storms of life assail us and the Dragon hauls out its favorite weapon: the fear of death.

I was a fledgling Christian and cared for many others. Most trembled disabled by fear but some didn't - they intrigued me.  I discovered that it wasn't their professed faith, whether they attended church and or bible studies, whether they had been dipped or dunked or even whether they preached the word. Most who could even recite Jesus' promises and the reasons for the hope  did not live lives of hope. They were manipulated by fear and their lives crashed and burned just like the others who had never had a spiritual thought or were acolytes of some philosopher or another. 

Those that lead amazing lives full of meaning, purpose and even joy while facing possible or even certain death  had something the rest did not. They had P.E.E.