Submitted by Dr. Robert F. Lane on
Sue was out over 5 years from the surgery, radiation and chemotherapy for her cancer and looking good when I asked "how are you doing? She smiled " I am doing fine". Then with a sideways glance and not much more than a whisper she soberly confided " but the Dragon is always behind the door!"
When the chance of survival is uncertain and the prospect of a dramatic change in life is just too scary to consider, some simply refuse to read the writing on the wall. Instead, they hunker down and plow ahead, taking on more and more, moving ever faster and faster, burning themselves up and others out in an attempt to suck down every last drop of life. At such speed, wisdom cannot be found and her whispers are rarely heard – but the Dragon's voice always will be.
Cancer itself is not evil. Bodies break down and the Dragon will use cancer as a tool to do evil things in your life, the most destructive of which is to poison your attitudes. Sure, cancer can change life as you know it by spoiling dreams and hopes, but when the Dragon can convince you that your present life, dreams and hopes are the only ones worth considering is when you are really in for trouble. That is when you will cling ever more avariciously to them and curiously become most likely to lose them or live in perpetual fear of losing them which may be even worse. There are other dreams that are magnificent and other hopes that are unshakeable beyond the reach of the Dragon. Go find them.
The Dragon will try to dishearten and distract you, and try to keep your focus on what you are losing rather than on what you might gain – or convince you it isn’t worth the effort to search. But you are in control; don’t drink that poison.
Dream boldly (right foot,) but hold your dreams with a loose grip (left foot).
In nearly every recorded saga of extraordinary survival, the protagonist describes the importance of dreaming, even fantasizing about hopeful future events. Whether it was those stranded in a lifeboat out on ocean, a POW in a solitary cell, or others lost on a high Peruvian glacier after a plane crash, those who survived were all dreamers. It enabled them to do whatever they had to in order to survive. Dreams need not be big; indeed, many smaller ones are often better.
Set goals that are obtainable. Write them down. Make a list. It will surprise you. Don’t permit cancer to dictate how you live. Don’t let it disable you by getting you focused on what you can’t do. Instead, focus on what you can do now, and before your next nap, and tomorrow, and next week. Then applaud yourself when you’ve done it, plan again, and nap again.
If there is something important that seems out of reach, recruit someone to help. The list should include inactive things as well as active things, things you can do on your own and those for which you will need help, things that cost nothing and maybe things that cost a lot. Recruit a helpmate, spouse, sibling, child or a friend to brainstorm dreaming with you.
Ideally, recruit one or two people to run the bell lap with you, to challenge you and to be your pacesetters. Ask them to read this book with you. It will help them to help you and also prepare them for their own bell lap someday. Their lives will be better for it and so will yours; It’s a win-win.
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